Tuesday, September 29, 2009

WILL SOMEONE APOLOGIZE TO ME FOR '97?

Recently I read about a series of significant historical apology made by leaders for something that was done many years ago like the Australian Prime Minister Kevin Rudd’s apology to the Aborigines for inflicting grief, suffering and loss that happened more than half a century ago. And, that get me to thinking if I can ever expect anyone at all to apologize to me for what happened in ’97, and for its aftermath, the consequences and scars it left on my life?

They said that an apology is the first-step towards starting any kind of healing process. And for sure, even after a decade, I’m still nursing those consequences. Every time I cursed my lot, I can trace its root to ’97 –for throwing me out of school and out of my normal routine of life; for taking away my home and friends, for filling my childhood memories with horrible images and thus, stealing my childhood.

I am not the only one affected. There are more, much more, who were at critical stages of their life at that time, and who, otherwise, have been promised much by life but could not achieve just because of what happened. Those people deserve an apology even much more than me.

First of all let me clear that I’m not referring to us apologizing to them or vice versa (if that is possible it will be superb). But for the time being I’m referring to something like a father to son apology. Some of us may argue if an apology is needed at all, saying that we all had gone through the same situation, or that we were only defending ourselves or that there is no reason for us to apologize since it’s not our fault.

It is true that we needed to protect ourselves particularly at that time and especially in view of the inherent apathy of our state government. But who are we protecting when we started killing people of our own or when we extorted, harassed and exploited the very people that we were/are supposed to be protecting?

It’s very well if you argued that we were left with no choice or option but to strike back. It may sound a bit cliché but there always is choice and options if we want. I am not saying that we could avoid it or the situation could have been handled in a better way, but I am saying that we could have mitigated its impact better especially among the younger generation, and don’t let its effect, especially the psychological aspect, linger on for so long. By the way, they says it takes two to tango, so what did we do, consciously or unconsciously, for them to do what they did?

It is also true that we all went through the same ’97. But no, CAPITAL NO, it was NOT the same situation that we went through in ’97. You and I were at totally different footing at that time and we are not the same either now; our socio-economic status were not the same; our conditions were not the same; our losses were not the same; its impact on the region, village, family and individual were not the same either. In fact, some of us even gained from it, when some of us lost everything… Under no parameter can this be called the same!

You may not want to admit it, but ’97 does have an impact on each one of us, and most likely, in the negative way. You may be trying to see the bright side and counting your blessing or thanking your luck for surviving it but you have to admit that you could have been more than what you are now if not for what happened in ’97.

But the problem is who will apologize. Will our respective community leaders take responsibility and apologize? Well, we all doubt that so much it almost sound funny! So where do we start? You and I can very well apologize to each other, but still, someone, some people, with authority and claim will still owe us an apology. And I am not sure if I would ever hear that in my life time.

I have no claim to represent or have authority to speak for anyone other than me. So I am going to speak for myself and start by saying –
I APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU IN
’97!

Will you too apologize to me… please?